Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
