Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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