the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
