Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
