Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
