all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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