Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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