I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
