Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
