If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
