At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
