ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
