You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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