Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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