This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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