you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
