We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
