Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
