i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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