yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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