your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
