apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
