best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
