You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
