Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
