it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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