You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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