Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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