You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
