Buhtt sex?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
