they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
