Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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