Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
