and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dear god my vagina.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
