If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
