Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
this is an emotional support booty call
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
