So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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