so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
