But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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