So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Someone came in the potted fern
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
