i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
In America we eat man semen.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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