I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can text with my tongue
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
