Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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