Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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