dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
