is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
