Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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