you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
