I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
COCAINE IS GR8
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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