I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
accomplished twins. life is a go
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize